June 2nd was - for the most part - the best day. Sawyer was stable, I was able to visit for the first time. I could be there for him, hold his hand. Touch his soft skin. Stroke his fingers when he was in pain. I thought this was the beginning of our long road in the NICU. I never thought it would have ended so soon. This is my favorite memory though. The quiet hum of beeps and machines. Knowing he was safe with me. This moment. This memory, thank you God for giving it to me.
Snuggled up by the fire on the couch at bedtime...
Sadie sleepily asks me, "Momma? Do you see Sawyer?"
I answer, "Where, Sadie?"
And with a yawn in her voice she says, "Right there mommy. When you close your eyes."
A figurative artist from British Columbia named Kate Hansen, included Sawyer and I in her Madonna And Child Project in 2010. I was so honored that she represented the most painful experience of motherhood. One that too many women have sadly had to endure. In Kate's words: "Each portrait was combined with a birth story written by the mother in her own words. The use of contemporary women subverts the classical theme of the Madonna and Child, but also honours the relationship between mother and child."