Thursday, July 21, 2011

The Other Mother

We went out for a shopping trip last night, one of our first as a family. Landon was fed and full, slept the entire time in his carseat. We were stopped, more than once...

"He's so sweet!"

"How old is he?!"

"I bet you're not sleeping at night!"

We smile, say thank you and move along.

The one thing I can't get out of my head though, is Sawyer. And especially how I felt just one year ago. I can't be completely beaming with the pride of a new mother. Instead, I worry that there might be another mother, grieving the loss of her baby. Trying not to look at our baby, but finding herself staring - hiding her tears.

I want to tell her I'm sorry, and that I was - and still am that mother.

Monday, July 18, 2011


Every time I look at Landon when he's asleep, I cry. Most of the time, it's just for a moment - But there are some days, where the tears just won't stop.

He looks just like his brother.

Monday, July 4, 2011