Saturday, October 2, 2010

Sawyer's purpose

Today, the Compassionate Friends posted this quote:

"Grief with purpose is an awesome force."

For weeks, other bereaved parents have asked me "how I can plan an event so big, so soon after Sawyer's death?"

And that quote is the answer I've finally found, but have never been able to put so perfectly into words.

During our garage sale today to raise more funds for our walk, I came inside to take a moment for myself. I walked over to the beautiful display case Erik built, with all of Sawyer's pictures and keepsakes neatly tucked inside - and I cried.

Through the tears, I told Sawyer about everything we've been doing. And that we're doing it for him and for all the other babyloss mothers and fathers out there who had their hearts - filled with so much hope and love - shattered, and broken.

I want to hold him. At night, I lay in bed thinking about the bassinet that should be next to me. He would be four months old now. Sweet and beautiful.

But he's not here.

And that's where the purpose comes from.


Wyatt's Mommie said...

Thinking of you today. I hope the garage sale went wonderfully!!! Love ya Michelle!!!

Anonymous said...

I wish I had your motivation. I struggle daily with how I left "Faces"- (I helped Kristin in the beginning) I feel like I failed V and all the other moms and babies because I couldn't be one of those people who had the motivation to do something good.

pinkboxer said...

Thank you for posting your story. I am constantly amazed by the things we do to remember our lost babies. I think it is wonderful that you are organizing a walk. I hope that it helps you in your healing. I had a miscarriage last year and what has helped me is helping others through my company, Angel Bracelets ( We support Faces and several other wonderful pregnancy and infant loss organizations with our memorial bracelets. Doing this has really helped me, I hope that you also find peace in helping others.

Pipsylou said...

I've got a lot of catching up to do, friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Reading away over here!

Pipsylou said...

You're an awesome writer.