We went out for a shopping trip last night, one of our first as a family. Landon was fed and full, slept the entire time in his carseat. We were stopped, more than once...
"He's so sweet!"
"How old is he?!"
"I bet you're not sleeping at night!"
We smile, say thank you and move along.
The one thing I can't get out of my head though, is Sawyer. And especially how I felt just one year ago. I can't be completely beaming with the pride of a new mother. Instead, I worry that there might be another mother, grieving the loss of her baby. Trying not to look at our baby, but finding herself staring - hiding her tears.
I want to tell her I'm sorry, and that I was - and still am that mother.
Showing posts with label infant loss memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label infant loss memories. Show all posts
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Instant
There are these moments that I can't imagine will ever escape me.
The moment of panic.
The moment I saw my son for the first time.
The moment they said, "There's only so much we can do."
The moment I touched him.
The moment I thought I was going to die.
The moment he died.
They revolve in my head almost constantly - a merry-go-round of beauty and suffering.
The moment of panic.
The moment I saw my son for the first time.
The moment they said, "There's only so much we can do."
The moment I touched him.
The moment I thought I was going to die.
The moment he died.
They revolve in my head almost constantly - a merry-go-round of beauty and suffering.
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