Monday, November 29, 2010

The ache in my heart


There are so many things I want to say here - so many things I need to say. But they have to wait.

I wish you were here Sawyer. I just want you here with me. At night, I pray to you before I fall asleep. My eyes closed, trying to remember the feel of your skin against mine. Your head was so soft and smelled sweet and beautiful. I want to kiss you again, but instead - I kiss your grave.

I keep your blanket against my chest when I sleep - it's the only comfort I have.

Sometimes, I feel you kicking me. I know it's you because I've never felt anything so close to that in my life - and I can't explain it.

I miss you, sweet baby.

7 comments:

Kristine said...

I believe you. <3 I've felt Cora once or twice kicking. I love you.

butterflymom said...

Hugs to you, my friend.

mommy4boys said...

Sending you love and hugs today. This six month angelversary coming up has become a tough one. If you need to talk, you know how to find me.
~C

Wyatt's Mommie said...

Thinking of you... funny, I sometimes think I feel the kicking too... amazing what we can actually feel if we BELIEVE.

LetterstoClaire said...

I have felt kicking a few times since Claire died, I had never felt anything like that before my pregnancy with her and I just know in my heart that they are little reminders from her that she is still with me :) God Bless are sweet little angels always watching out for us.

Dana said...

Jacob was born on June 1 as well, but had already passed away before that. I also sleep with his blanket, either against my face or on my chest. And I swear I still feel kicking sometimes. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

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