I'm sitting on the couch and I can hear Erik's cries from the bedroom. It's the same thing every night. It's either him or me. One of us breaks down - then we both do. We hold each other steady while the pain shakes our bodies.
Tonight, we talked about all the things we won't be able to do with Sawyer. Through Erik's tears he tells me that he won't ever be able to hold him again. That all he wants to do is kiss his little cheeks over and over. Erik's pain makes me so incredibly sad, that my crying soon turns into sobbing. How can I help take his pain away, when I'm so consumed with it myself?
I love you Erik. Although it feels that a part of us has been ripped away, always remember that Sawyer is forever in our hearts and engraved into our souls. I want you to remember that when the hurt is too much to bear. We will hold onto Sawyer's spirit together.