Sawyer's Heart: Dear God

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Dear God

Dear God,

Are you watching over Sawyer? Is he happy? I miss him so much, my heart is so empty I don't know or can't imagine how it will ever feel full again.

I want to hold my baby against my chest one more time. I want to feel his soft head against my chin. I don't want to forget his face or how he smelled. I want to remember how his tiny fingers felt in my hands. I want my body to warm his sweet head and kiss him all over just one more time.

Sawyer can you feel me wanting you? Can you feel me touching you? I feel you come to me at night and I don't ever want to let you go. I love you sweet angel. Always.

Love,

Mommy

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Sawyer's Story

Sawyer Erik Williams was born on June 1, 2010 - at 28 weeks gestation and exactly three months before his due date. Just two days later on June 3, 2010, Sawyer died in his mother's arms.

Sawyer's life was cut drastically short by a congenital heart defect. He was diagnosed with a severe form of Tetralogy of Fallot and had many complications including a large hole between his left and right ventricles called a "ventricular septal defect" and "pulmonary atresia" - an extremely rare CHD in which the pulmonary valve does not form.

Sawyer's spirit lives on in the hearts of many who he touched so deeply in his brief life. May this blog be of comfort to other mothers, fathers, grandparents and families who have experienced the deep pain of infant loss.